The Charisma Trap: When Influence Turns Toxic at Work

Some people light up a room, and that’s a good thing.
They spark ideas, ignite momentum, and help teams move forward.

But not every firestarter is fuel for growth.
Some are just here to watch it all burn, and they do it with a smile on their face and everyone’s name on their guest list.

In every organisation, there’s the spark plug, someone who brings energy, drive, and fresh ideas.
And then there’s the charismatic disruptor, someone who brings drama disguised as dynamism.

You’ve seen them before: part Regina George, part Tom Wambsgans from Succession. They charm the influencers, gatekeep the in-crowd, and quietly build a power base. They know just how to shape a narrative, turn people against each other, and then play the victim when things unravel.

It’s not performance issues that derail your culture - it’s emotional politics left unchecked.

Generational Relevance:
Gen X? We were trained to tolerate it.
We mastered the art of staying quiet. Of surviving office politics. Of enduring the “difficult” people because we were told speaking up made you look difficult too.

Gen Z? They smell the dysfunction but don’t yet know what to do with it.
They want authenticity, safety, and transparency, but end up tangled in the unspoken rules we never dismantled.

👉. This Isn’t Just Annoying. It’s Costly.
It erodes culture.
It alienates high-performers.
It rewards emotional manipulation over actual leadership.
And eventually yes, it burns out the toxic actor.
But not before burning out a few good people too.

So What?
It’s time to stop just surviving this.
✅ We need policies that address emotional abuse, not just “behavioural concerns.”
✅. We need language for this kind of manipulation so it stops getting brushed off as a “bad vibe.”
✅. We need Gen X to stop playing it safe and start calling it out - because staying silent just hands the mic 🎤to the loudest operator in the room.
✅. And we need to empower people to protect their teams, not just their reputations.

If we don’t?

We’re left with fractured cultures, traumatised teams, and a generation of leaders too bruised to lead with heart.

Let’s redefine what leadership actually means.

Let’s value the quiet wisdom, the boundary holders, the truth-tellers - not just the ones who perform “influence” the loudest.

Because in the long run, integrity outlasts charisma.